Say “hello” to little Colt! He’s such a sweet baby and I just loved his red hair and beautiful blue eyes.

Congratulations Amanda and Scott. Thank you for allowing me the honor of photographing your baby boy.

I look forward to seeing him grow!

Mobile visitors, please view here

A year ago today, my daughter Marti’s life changed forever.

Photograph by Clay Blackmore

Marti had spent the previous few months in Memphis with our Aunt Sandra in her last weeks battling breast cancer.  We thought the lingering fatigue and decreased appetite was due to the physical demands of her helping to care for our Aunt, her subsequent funeral and grief, two cross-country flights within 10 days, and the demands of college and working part-time.  Then the bruises started showing up on her legs and arms that would not go away.  When they became painful and swollen, I insisted that she see our doctor.

Marti and her nurse, Kristina. She kicked cancer’s butt, too, YEAH!

The doctor called on Sunday evening, March 11th, saying she was very concerned with the results of a recent blood test and that Marti needed to get to the Emergency Room right away where doctors would be waiting for her.  She was 21.  I can’t describe the look on the nurse’s face when she came into the exam room.  She looked like she had just seen death and was trying to hold her composure as she said to us, “The test results are back, this is leukemia, we’ll need to transport you to the main hospital for a bone marrow biopsy to confirm the type of cancer and start treatment.  Most likely it’s Acute.”  Then she left.

Cancer?!

Um…Excuse me, say whaa???

The day of Diagnosis. 

On March 14th, the results of the Bone Marrow Biopsy confirmed a rare and incurable blood cancer called Chronic Myeloid Leukemia (CML).  After 5 days at Hoag Hospital, numerous tests and lots of meetings with various members of the medical staff, we went home, still in disbelief.

In the last year, we’ve grown so much, both individually and together as a mother and daughter. After failing the first type of chemo, Marti is responding to the latest one.  The side effects are being managed as best as we can and we’re adjusting to life as it comes, one day at a time.

Photograph by Clay Blackmore

One day at a time…
We’ve learned not to plan too far ahead.
We’ve learned to be in the moment.
We’ve seen friends leave and new ones come into our lives.
We’ve made each other laugh with silly sarcastic cancer jokes when we really wanted to cry.

Photograph by Clay Blackmore

We’re learning not to sweat the small stuff.
We’re learning to be better human beings.

We are grateful.

To learn more about CML, visit the American Cancer Society here.

To learn more about how you can help other Young Adults fighting Cancer, please visit www.StupidCancer.org

To learn more about Marti’s fight and/or make a donation to her medical fund, please visit her page at YouCaring.com or join The Marti Party here on Facebook.

Hello my friendlies!  My dear friends and fellow photographers at Cean One Photography are hosting a fundraiser to benefit my daughter Marti in her fight against cancer and YOU are cordially invited!   Please join me and the Cean One team on Saturday, March 2nd for a day of mini portrait sessions.   The Studio is located at 3750 Santa Fe Avenue in Riverside, CA.  100% of all proceeds and sales go directly to Marti’s Medical Fund as she continues her journey fighting a rare blood cancer.  Just call the studio to book your session at 866-572-3261.

Your generous donation includes a complimentary 16×20 fine art canvas and 25% off additional products.   This is a great opportunity for that new head shot, portrait of your growing little one or that family portrait you’ve been wanting.

But wait, there’s more….

You’ll also be helping to raise awareness for other Young Adults with cancer.  Did you know that approximately 72,000 Young Adults aged 19-39 are diagnosed with cancer each year?   Did you know that they are the most underserved population when it comes to age-appropriate resources? They are also some of the toughest, most resilient and spirited fighters of this disease. My daughter Marti is one of those fighters.  You can learn more at www.StupidCancer.org

For more information on Marti’s journey, you can visit her fundraising blog here.

So come join the Marty Party and share the love!

Today is a very special day.  My little Ladybug, my Pooh Bear, my heart, is 21 years old.  I can’t explain how I’m feeling inside.  All I know is that the unexpected tears keep visiting to disrupt my mascara.  This isn’t just one or two tears or a little pool of water welling up in my left eye that I can prevent from falling by tilting my head back.  No, this is a hot steady stream of tears that leaves my face a shade of burgundy that I can’t joke and laugh away.

I’m filled with a mixture of  joy, pride, excitement, fear, admiration, anxiety, sadness and gratitude.  But that’s just the start.  You don’t even want to know all questions that stir within me, like:

• Did I do a good job as a single parent?
• Did I teach her well?
• Did I surround her with people that gave her good guidance?
• Did I make the right choices for the both of us?
• Did I encourage and challenge her enough?
• Did I discipline her enough, but not too much?
• Does she know the difference between a pea and a bean?
• Does she know that it’s OK to make mistakes as long as she learns from them and is not a repeat offender?
• When I’m not around, is she still respectful of her elders?
• Does she know that my shoulder is always hers when she needs to cry, my ear is hers when she needs to talk, and my arms are always open when she needs a hug?
• Does she know the magic that lies between a jar of Vaseline and a knot of raw Shea butter?
• Does she know that she’s the best part of me?

I wish she’d known my mother.  The family and I have always told her how proud her grandmother Joann was of her little grandbaby.  I wish she could remember being held by her, snuggled, kissed, pampered and paraded.  My mother would not allow anyone to touch her without first washing their hands.  I know, I know…

A few weeks ago, I spoke about the Village that it takes to raise a child in my Mother’s Day blog post.  To all of those members of Marti’s Village, “Thank You.”

So here we are, 21 years in the making, and we have ourselves a very creative fashion designer and college student who’s also a patient, loving and compassionate Nanny with a great sense of humor that’s laced with sarcasm.  It’s all balanced by responsibility, humility, intelligence and common sense that were all built on a strong Southern foundation of morals, values and self-respect.

To my Marti,

I love you and I am so proud of the young lady you’ve become.  You are the best part of me.

Infinity,

Mommy

Please join me in wishing Marti a Happy Birthday!

Here’s a few images of the Birthday Lady.

Marti is still seen walking around with a phone in her hands. I promise she wasn't born holding one.

(Does anyone else have such a hard time choosing just a few images of your kid?)

A quick update:  Since Marti was about a year old, she would pat me on my back when I hugged her.  This morning, when she patted me on my back, it turned on some serious waterworks that resulted in tears falling into my coffee (literally)  and a wonderful feeling that I can’t quite describe. 

I just had to share this one of Jackie and Miah sharing a beautiful moment just after exchanging vows a few weeks ago.

Congratulations to you both!

More to come….

This is for Debra, who drove during my little “Photog Drive-by Shooting” in L.A. a few weeks ago.  I’ll share more images of our afternoon of  Fabric Shopping with our girls, Marti & Sarah a little later.  You can check out Debra’s cool photo’s here in the mean time.  (No laughing at the dancing Tamara pics.)

I don’t always name my photos, but this one said “I deserve a name, Lady.  I may not be here much longer, so allow me the respect of at least having a name.  Then shut up and let people tell their own story about me.”

So…

“Hello, I’m Tamara Young, a Photographer on an Aimless Journey

Please allow me to introduce you to:

“Life On A Freeway”

Enjoy your story.

I’m shutting up now.

Shot on a Canon G12 in RAW from a moving car window on the 10 Freeway and edited on my iPad.  (In case you’re into that kinda thing.)

If you’re providing guidance, unconditional love, friendship, counseling, discipline, financial support, wisdom, encouragement, clean clothing, a home to live in or store a child’s stuff….Happy Mother’s Day to you.

If you’re the chauffeur, laundry maid, housekeeper, personal chef, seamstress, personal shopper, secretary, live-in Nurse Nice, Doctor Mom, sometimes rejected Fashion Police, walking Wikipedia Mommapedia, and Bank of Mom….Happy Mother’s Day to you.

The role of a Mother is never ending and all encompassing.   It is it truly a role that requires Unselfish and Unconditional Love.

• For all the nights you walked the floor to put your baby to sleep,
• For all the afternoons you walked ½ a mile to the back of a school in a pair of pumps after being at work all day to watch your child compete in a sport,
• For all the nights you paced the floor waiting to hear the car with your child in it pull into the driveway,
• For those times you walked the halls of an ER holding back tears and staying positive as you waited for good news that seemed to take too long,
• For all the times you walked the floors of every department store and mall to find the perfect outfit
• For the miles that you walked or ran wearing Pink, Purple or some other color, holding a picture, wearing a macaroni bracelet, or recalling memories with your child or mother who has or is battling cancer or disease,
• For the day you have or will walk into a room as a new grandmother,
• For the day you walked onto the grassy field and got your stiletto stuck or had to climb to the top of the bleachers to watch your child’s Commencement Exercises,
• For the day you have or will walk down the isle as Mother of The Bride,

“Honey-Child your feet have got to be tired!  You deserve daily foot massages and the most fabulous shoes.  If anyone gives you crap about a new pair, EVER, feel free to send them to this post from a Mother who understands.

Growing up in the South, I was always taught that “it takes a village to raise a child.”

Thank you to all of the Women who made up my village after losing my Mother nearly 21 years ago.  Thank you to all of the women who  have made up my daughter’s village for nearly 21 years and counting.

Happy Mother’s Day and THANK YOU for being everything all the time.

P.S. If you don’t have a village, it’s never too late.

P.S. again. If you’ve lost your mother at a young age and are now a Mother, I recommend these two books by Hope Edelman ,  Motherless Daughters and Motherless Mothers. You’re not alone.  :)

I hope everyone is spending this Holiday with family.  For me, I’ll be hanging out with my Mini-Me, Marti.

Mushy Mommy Alert: It’s the last Easter that I get to spend with her before she turns 21 next month.  I’m so happy that she still thinks it’s cool to hang out with me.

Before we head out for a fun afternoon to laugh until our abs hurt, I wanted to share a few photos of my Epiphyllum oxypetalum, also known as “The Queen of the Night.”  She bloomed on Wednesday evening, so of course I had to snap a few shots the next morning.  I have to tell you that during the year I really don’t find this plant very attractive at all, but I still love her.  Who knew that something so beautiful was hiding inside?!

A quick story about The Queen of the Night:

My Great Aunt Sylena lived in the same house in L.A. for over 40 years.  I had the honor for caring for her in the last few years of her life and was at her home a few times a week  She was one of the most supportive, caring, loving, kindest, strongest and most sarcastic women in my life!   She could make me laugh until I cried.  She also knew when “something was troubling my mind or my heart” and seemed to always have the answer.  She was one of the wisest women I’ve ever known.  I miss her so much.

Aunt Sylena had lots of plants around the house and on the front porch.  I had been going to visit her and Uncle Roy since moving to Orange County in 2001.  This plant was always there and had been for years.  I mean a LOT of years, like since the ’80’s!  Believe it or not, I NEVER saw it bloom.  I had no idea that it was capable.  It blended in with the other trees,  greenery and cactus on the porch.

It wasn’t until the morning of her funeral that the most gorgeous exotic blooms appeared on the plant that just sat in the corner “being green”.  We were all mystified.  For three years now, once a year during late April through May, the blooms appear.  I can only describe the feeling that I get as Comforting Joy.  I miss my Great Aunt Sylena, but I still feel her presence in my life.

I can almost hear her saying to me “Guess that old boring Ugly Duckling taught you, didn’t it?  Wonder what else is standing in front of you that you’re too blind to see?”

Yep, that’s my Aunt Sylena.  I better get out of here, I have a Mommy Date with a member of the next generation of “supportive, caring, loving, kindest, strongest and most sarcastic women in my life.”

Happy Easter, My Friendlies.

At T Style Photography, one can never have too much Style.  Last year, I introduced you all to Miss AfroDiTea T. Style.  She would accompany me to a few shoots as my style assistant.    Since the end of last summer, she’s been traveling the world studying fashion, sipping exotic teas and wine, meeting interesting people, attending swanky soirees and of course shopping.  I was able to reach her off the coast of Morocco on someone’s private yacht via satellite phone.  I just had to tell her about the fabulosity I ran into at WPPI this year.  When I told her about my friend Candice Cunningham’s LensSkins and how our camera lens could have just as much style her, Miss T. Style agreed to come back to the States to see for herself.  Upon seeing them, she said, ”You know Tamara, your clients come to you because they want something unique, they want to stand out from the crowd.  When you show up to your session with your new LensSkin on, they’re gonna know they made the right decision and that they’re in for a real treat with a Photographer who’s got “outstanding” style!”

Never one to pass up a photo-op, Miss T. Style spent an afternoon posing for me with the new Rock the Baroque wrap on my favorite CanonEF85mm f/1.2L lens and lens hood .  She’s such a generous Dame, she didn’t even bill me her daily fee of $30,000.  I’m really hoping I can convince her to pose for my Boudoir Site at www.IndulgingAllure.com.  If anyone knows how to indulge, it’s Miss AfroDiTea T. Style, herself!

I think she fell in love at first site.   What say you?

“Tammy, did you find any pictures of Mama for me, Baby?  I looked all over and can’t find any others.  I want to send some to my cousin, there in Detroit.”

That’s how the conversation with my Grandmomma ended one day.   She asked the same question a few weeks ago while I was in Memphis for Christmas.   When she initially asked about pictures of Big Momma,  (my Great-Grandmother, Ruby Spearman) I was a bit dumbfounded.  I don’t remember what we were all doing, but it wasn’t talking about photos.  I may have had a “deer in the headlights” look on my face when I said “Huh? I mean, Ma’am? Um, I’ll look when I get home.”

As I went through the next few weeks, I called my Grandmomma as usual, and she asked again about the pictures.  I had put the task on my list of things to do, but just hadn’t gotten to it yet.  Still, something was bugging me about the question.  I haven’t bothered to ask her why she thinks that I would have the pictures.  I figure it’s because she knows that I’m a Photographer, always “Runnin’ ‘round with that camera making those pictures” as she says.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve noticed little details about things and life as a whole.  Those little details lead to my favorite question, “Why?”  Sometimes, I’d get so engulfed with questions about the little details, that I’d miss the obvious answer that was staring me right in my face.  My Grandmomma used to say to me sometimes,  “Child, if it’d been a snake, it woulda’ bit ya.”

After our conversation that day, I walked out of my office, then stopped in my tracks.  I went back to see the answer.   Sitting right there in my face were my Mother’s, my Great-Aunt Sylena’s and few of my own photo albums. All of them full of generations of family memories that I’ve been entrusted to care for.

Our ancestors live on in our family through photographs and the stories of their lives.

I leave you with a quote that personally took me almost 20 years to fully understand.  One that is real and relevant…..

“To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die.” – Thomas Campbell