Come on in’ and sit a spell.
Let me pour you drink.
Listen, we need to talk. We’ve been together for a long time now. At times there’s been distance between us and I know it was my fault. I accept that. See, when we met, things were wonderful. You provided me a way to get lots of shoes from far away places. You even gave me a huge 4,000 sq.ft. closet for them, a mini-mansion for my shoes! I was so comfortable. What could possibly break us up?!
Then I decided to create my own pretty things for other people. Since you were so generous, loyal, and amiable, I stayed with you for my business purposes as well. You gave me another closet; this time with even more shelves and ways to get more shoes into it. Oh JOY! Until one day when I found that I could not get into that mini-mansion closet that you gave me for my little business. It would not have been such a huge problem had you told me that something was not right and that you needed to go Fort Knox on my closet and shoes. Nope, you didn’t communicate before you acted, like you said you would. You ignored me. You and I both know how important communication is to a healthy relationship, right?
There I stood at the locked door, peering through the etched glass double doors, staring and longing for my shoes. I tried calling, emailing, even using the Vulcan Mind Meld to reach you. NOTHING! I had a thing that night. I had this fly little black number that fit me everywhere it needed to. I bought it to match the shoes that were in my closet…..that I was locked out of. Thankfully, you called me yesterday to say that I could come inside again. You never said exactly why you locked me out, only some vague offering about a third party concern. Excuse me, “Wha?” (Those of you reading this who have met me in person, insert that “Look” on my face here.)
I can handle adjustments, growth and change. Your rules are your rules; I respect you for having them. You built that closet on your land, but that doesn’t mean that I have to stay.
(How’s that drink? Need another?)
I’m not gonna drag this out any longer. Paypal, you were a great pal to have for a long time, but it’s over. It’s not you, it’s me. Wait, it is you! You did not send me a notice before you locked me out. You let me stand there at the door, barefoot and embarrassed. You then decided to play a little locksmith game by asking me change my password and tell you the name of my first dog. I even played along a few times. But I’m in now and I’ve read our marriage contract, little legal document again. I’m getting my shoes and I’m leaving you. That’s right, you can have your mini-mansion closet and this wording from your User Agreement-
“10.7 Reserves. PayPal, in its sole discretion, may place a Reserve on funds held in your Premier or Business Account when PayPal believes there may be a high level of risk associated with your Account. If PayPal places a Reserve on funds in your Account, they will be shown as “pending” in your PayPal Balance. If your Account is subject to a Reserve, PayPal will provide you with notice specifying the terms of the Reserve. The terms may require that a certain percentage of the amounts received into your Account are held for a certain period of time, or that a certain amount of money is held in reserve, or anything else that PayPal determines is necessary to protect against the risk associated with your Account. PayPal may change the terms of the Reserve at any time by providing you with notice of the new terms.”
You see these here boots? They were made for walkin’ and that’s just what I’m doing!
You’ll be getting the divorce papers soon. Don’t fight me on this. There’s only a few things that one should never mess with; my kid, my money, my camera, and my shoes. Messing around with any of them is like playing with my emotions. Besides, I know there are others. I saw the little cards you gave them….just like mine!
My Friends, please be sure to read the Terms of Service and User Agreements before you decide to use an online Merchant account. It’s imperative that you know when a company may arbitrarily put a hold on your funds at their discretion, only be required to tell you AFTER the fact and release them back to you when they decide to. This may be fine for some of you and by no means am I saying that Paypal is evil. We all have different needs and uses for the services they offer. This is only my opinion based on my personal experience.
‘Cause you know I got your back, right?
On another note, y’all know I love my Cell phone Shoe Pics. Email me your Cell phone Shoe Pics at Tamara@TStylePhotography.com with a note telling me anything you want about them. Me and my buddies will choose one and give the winner a $50 Gift Certificate to use towards a Session Fee or products. ANYONE is eligible. I’ll pick a Shoe in a week on Friday, February 25, 2011.
Lemme see your shoes!